What if the biggest barrier is not your circumstances but your thinking about these circumstances? 

When you've experienced a toxic relationship or have been emotionally drained from a relationship or environment, it is easy to believe the lie that "this is just who I am" or "nothing will ever change." 

Although these beliefs feel like facts, they are not; they are learned patterns that are relative to fear, shame, and survival. 

And the great news? You can learn some new ones. It begins with a shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

What Is a Fixed Mindset?

A fixed mindset is when you believe your abilities, intelligence, and potential are all set in stone. You are either "good" at something, or you are not. You are either lovable or you are worthless. Strong or broken. 

Sounds familiar? That’s because survivors are conditioned to believe that they have either no worth or limited or even conditional worth, often based on someone else’s approval, control, or cruelty. 

Some common fixed mindset thoughts include:

• "I will never be confident again." 

• "I am too damaged to begin again." 

• "People like me don’t get to live happy lives." 

This mindset doesn’t protect you; it traps you. The door is not locked.

What Is a Growth Mindset, and Why Does It Matter?

A growth mindset comes from the understanding that your qualities, emotions, and circumstances can change and become better with effort, learning, and support.

It says:

• "I can learn new ways to respond."

• "I'm not where I want to be yet, but I am on my way.”

• "I have the power to create a new chapter."
  

This shift is powerful for survivors. Because when you have lived in environments that claimed you are small, unworthy, or incapable, a growth mindset can help a survivor rekindle their belief in themselves from the inside out.

Mindset Shapes Healing, Not Just Habits

Your mindset isn’t just about how you approach goals. It impacts:

• Whether you set boundaries or keep the peace to avoid conflict

• Whether you pursue opportunities or play small to stay safe

• Whether you trust again or stay emotionally guarded forever

Kanchan Bhaskar, a survivor turned transformational coach, teaches, “Your thoughts are not your identity. They’re habits, and habits can be changed.”

Signs You Might Be Operating from a Fixed Mindset

Ask yourself:

• Do I avoid trying new things for fear of failure?

• Do I assume things won’t change, no matter what I do?

• Do I tell myself I’m “too old,” “too broken,” or “not meant for more”?

If yes, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to stay there.

How to Shift from Fixed to Growth

1. Catch the Thought: Awareness is your first tool. Notice when you say “I can’t” or “I’m not good at...”
   

2. Challenge It: Ask, “Is this absolutely true, or is it just something I’ve always believed?”
   

3. Reframe It: Replace it with something grounded but empowering. For example, “I’ve failed before” becomes “I’ve learned before, and I’ll grow again.”
   

4. Support Your Shift: Surround yourself with people, content, and coaching that mirrors the mindset you want, not the one you’re trying to outgrow.

Mindset work is not about toxic positivity; it’s about hope with action.

Transformation Starts with a Thought

• When you begin to think differently, you start to feel differently.

• When you feel differently, you begin to act differently.

• And that’s when your life changes, not all at once, but step by step.

Conclusion

You are not the sum of your past. You are not the thoughts that were handed to you by someone else’s pain. You are evolving, even on days it doesn’t feel like it.

Shifting to a growth mindset doesn’t mean you won’t struggle. It means you believe you can come out stronger.

And sometimes, booking a Life Coach Session is the very next brave step.

If you’re done living in cycles of fear and limitation, Our Transformational Coaching Program is your next step. Guiding survivors through mindset shifts that rebuild confidence, emotional clarity, and self-trust, so you can finally grow into the person you were always meant to be.